Friday, October 07, 2005
Voids That Fill
I know you are all probably tired of hearing about my divorce situation, but it has been weighing heavy on me over the last couple days and I just wanted to vent. One thing I've noticed is my relationships seem to last longer than what seems "normal." For example; I had a girlfriend in Jr. High that I stayed in contact with throughout high school even though I had moved over 500 miles away. And to top it off, we went to my senior prom together and have since invited eachother to our respective weddings. There has always been a connection that I have had with my friends that stretches over many years even when miles separate. I guess that is one reason that this divorce is so hard to deal with. CA was my best friend for 6 years and now that friendship no longer exists. There is a huge void in my life that I guess I've tried to fill with sports, work, and even hanging out with other friends, but it all falls short. Is this God's way of telling me that I need to fill that void with Him? Or will that void continue to exist until reconciliation occurs or another woman comes into my life? I also I wonder if this is a spiritual void or a human void.
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5 comments:
It says a lot of who you are by not letting go easy. We should all have such a willingness to hold on to those we love. Something will work out. You have truly been an inspiration to others through your struggles.
No doubt about it, you have a reason to ask these questions. However, take some time to heal, don't overthink and over do. It's been a hard road and it's time to "rest" in Jesus. As the Psalmist says, "Be still and know that I am God." Let God prepare you for what's next.
Toddy,
God created woman because He said "It is not good for man to be alone." So, I think you are experiencing a human void. It will probably take some time to fill that void with some other woman, and until then, filling that void with God is a really good choice. Then, when He sends someone to fill that void, because you are following His will and sensitive to His leading, you will recognize the one He has sent to you. We're praying for you!!
In response to the 2nd comment...that is exactly what was laid on my heart this past week. I was told a quote from Dr. Blackaby that said, "Don't just do something, stand there."
You don't know who I am. I don't think you've ever really met me or paid much attention to who I was. I live around you I'm just a kid. I know what divorce is like. My parents did that too when I was about 9. In a way...I have no idea what you're going through, because it's a wife, not a parent(s). The truth is: you're not gonna get over this. It will probably leave something of a hole in your life. What God is showing you...That has alot to do with you and her and him.
Job was faced with all tortures and all pains of the flesh. God has a purpose for everything. For the divorce, the death, the hate, the lust, the fear.
Even you, as a youth pastor need to sometimes take a step back and realize the simple.
I remember seeing your wedding ring sitting on a night stand next to a couch while you took a shower in Mike's place. I tell you I had never been more heartbroken before since my dad had told me his truth.
I'm praying for you and that God will show you what you need to see to stand upright in His sight so that He will be glorified.
Also, I know this is long, but I think you might want to check out some blues writers. Clapton, Johnson, Franklin, and Blackwell would be the ones that stick out right now.
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