Challenging Church: Youth and Children Ministry

Current Church Reality -
The youth and children ministries of many of our churches have taken it upon themselves to teach Biblical truths to kids age 0-18. We have a great number of activities focused on helping kids learn about God's love, the way of salvation, the life of Jesus, and many other theological and spiritual topics. We spend lots of time, energy, and money doing what we can to lead kids in the right direction.

Church Challenge Question -
All of this is well and good, but what if instead of putting all of our time, energy, and money into leading kids in the right direction we devoted more time, energy, and money to helping parents lead their own kids in the right direction?
I've been in youth ministry now for almost 6 years and there is one thing I am sure about - youth pastors don't have near as much influence on the spiritual formation of teenagers as their parents do. I would take that a step further and say that parents have a greater influence on the spiritual formation of their kids than the efforts of the children and youth ministers combined. There is nothing that compares to the teachings (intentional and example) the parents provide during the first 18 years of their life.
If what I just wrote is true, then why is it we as youth and children ministers take it upon ourselves to be the primary spiritual leaders for kids? Which begs the follow up question, why do parents depend on youth and children ministers to be the primary spiritual leaders for their own kids? Here's what I think...
1) Children and youth ministers have been trained to see themselves solely responsible for the spiritual health of kids. When a kid we've served falls away, we feel as if we failed. It was our fault that kid chose a different direction. If this is how we're trained, which leads to how we feel, of course we respond as the primary spiritual guides. It's all about us getting the job done.
2) I love the way Regie McNeal talks about ministry in his book Missional Renaissance. He shows how the service industry has affected churches. In the 20th century, people began contracting out services they didn't want or know how to do. If you didn't want or know how to mow your lawn, you hired a lawn boy. If you didn't want or know how to clean your house, you hired a maid. If you didn't want or know how to pay your taxes, you hired an accountant. And if you didn't want or know how to lead your kids spiritually, you dropped them off at church. Through that whole experience, parents forgot the Biblical mandate to spiritually raise up their kids.
I've been thinking a lot about this challenge over the past year or so. I'm still fleshing it all out, but I'm trying to figure out how the church can support and equip parents to be better spiritual guides for their families. I've got to believe that if we spend more time, energy, and money equipping our parents then we'll have a better chance of reaching this generation before its too late.

The Little Booger

Thought I'd post a quick pic of the little guy. He's starting to grow out of the baby phase and is beginning to look more like a little boy. Crazy.

This is a little something I taught him. Mom thinks its pretty funny.

A Dancin' Family

The other day Owen goes up his music cube and starts dancing to it. Melissa posted it on her blog and later received a comment from my brother Kyle about my dance moves. So, to show you just how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I have posted 2 videos here. Enjoy.

Meet Adelyn

I promised pictures and then forgot. This is Eric and Andrea's new baby girl a day after entering the world.

Turning the Page

For our family this summer has provided a number of ends, beginnings, and transitions. One of the biggest was my mom and dad's move from Leoti to Mulvane. It's been a great 8 years for them out in Western Kansas serving God in the midst of a community who embraced my family as one of their own. Melissa, Owen, and I went out for their last Sunday for an emotional 2-hour praise and worship service filled with music, prayer, Scripture reading, and remiscing of what God has done in the lives of many over the past 8 years. Wow, talk about real praise and worship! I was reminded that worship is not about just singing songs, but really giving everything to God. I was privileged to be a part of an awesome worship experience. Praise God!

On a more personal note I continue to transition into the equipping director at the church I serve and find it as challenging and fulfilling as I presumed it would be. Balancing youth ministry and equipping ministry is going to take me further than I can go. Only God will be able to take us to where He wants us as long as we'll get out of the way and let Him.

What are your latest beginnings and ends? Where is God transitioning you?

We're Baaack

Pulled into Salina yesterday around 4:30pm from a long week of work in Cedar Rapids and was I ever glad to be home. I greatly missed my family while I was gone even though the week was full of good work, interesting conversations, and fun times. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I walked up our front sidewalk and saw my little booger peering through the screen door. How long had I been gone? I'd almost forgotten what he looked like. As I walked in the door I put my guitar down and found my arms magnetically attracted to the blonde bombshell awaiting me in the living room. I planted a big smooch on her and for the rest of the evening I couldn't resist being next to her.
I think sometimes its good to get away to remember what it is we have and take for granted. In my everyday life it's easy for me to overlook the little moments that mean so much to me as a dad and a husband. I missed seeing Owen poke his head around the corner with that crazy grin he gets when he's playing peek-a-boo. I missed having my wife next to me while I slept at night. I missed getting up in the morning and turning the corner to Owen's room to hear him talking nonsense in his crib. I missed being able to look at Melissa while she told of the day she had...talking on the phone just doesn't cut it for me.
All the little things matter and sometimes it just takes a little distance to make me realize how truly blessed I am.

IOWA and the end to a contest

Tomorrow I head northeasterly to Cedar Rapids, IA with 16 teenagers and 5 other adults to help those who were effected by the ginormous floods of summer 2008. I just found out last night that we'll be working on two homes - one needs exterior painting and the other needs drywall hung. I've never hung drywall, so I'm hoping that I'll get a chance to put the paint brush down and give the big sheets a try.

On another note, today is the last day of the ugly backyard contest...finally! We're really not sure what will happen even though we lead by almost 200 votes. Evidently there are other "factors" they take into account. I would guess we'll learn more the beginning of next week.

Elsewhere, Melissa and Owen are doing pretty well. Owen continues to grow and learn new things. He's walking all over the place and loves to annoy Denver. Usually if Denver is lying by the couch, Owen will step on him so that he can get on the couch. Clever young lad wouldn't you say? Melissa is continuing to be a great mom and wife. She's a busy bee and does all she can to keep up the with little guy.

That's all for now. If I get internet connection in Iowa, I'll be sure to post. Have a great week!

One last thing, please pray for my parents as they prepare for the move at the end of the month. It's an emotional time. I'll post more about Leoti in the future.

I'm an Uncle...Again!

Just found out that Eric and Andrea had a baby girl just a few minutes ago. I know I'm going to spell her name wrong...

Adelyn Ann Just
8lbs 6oz
21 inches

Congratulations Eric, Andrea, and Brayden! I'm not sure our family will know how to react to having a girl running around. The good thing is she will have an older brother to protect her. And I'm sure dad will have something to say about it too.

Pics to come...we're headed there tomorrow to meet Adelyn.

The Big 1

Owen managed to survive his first birthday this past Monday. We had a great time the Saturday before with family celebrating this momentous event. A few pics for your viewing pleasure...

Training Our Dog

Today we had a friend of ours come by to give us a lesson in dog training. Denver, our golden retriever, has caused us so many headaches that we were desperate for anything to help get him under control. Some of the frustrations included...
-uncontrollable excitement when a person came to the door or in the house
-putting his snout into your lap
-carrying things all over the house
-knocking down or getting in front of Owen

David came by and showed us just how much of an impact our emotions had on Denver's behaviors. I usually become frustrated and angry quickly when it comes to Denver, creating more excitement that resulted in more bad behavior. David taught us about the importance of being assertive and communicating to the dog that we are the pack leaders, not him.

We'll see how it goes. I'm excited to put some of these tactics into practice. Pray for us!

Prioritizing

Ever since my divorce over 2 years ago, I've made it a point to make sure that my priorities are straight. I learned that I can't just say I place God first, family second, and job third. I have to act on it. I was given the chance to prove it this week.
I attended a conference at Southwestern College that began Tuesday. I knew that I would have to leave a little early on Wednesday to get back for church activities, but was excited to be a part of a Q&A with Tony Jones, listen in on a chapel sermon by Mr. Jones, and then participate in a workshop given by Professor Rankin (that's what I call him when he's doing smart guy stuff).
I woke up on Wednesday morning to a call from Melissa telling me that she had a monstrous headache. On top of that, Owen had been exposed to strep throat a few days prior and woke up with a cough.
So there I was faced with a big decision - Do I stay for the conference that I was greatly looking forward to hoping my family gets to feeling better as the day goes on? Or do I drive back home to spend the day being a good husband and dad?
I jumped in my car and headed back to S-town.

Being a Dad

I meant to post this earlier this week, but my week became consumed with writing a sermon. Enough excuses, thanks to my mom, brother, wife, and good friend, I'll be posting about being a dad. So here are my paternal reflections...

• Having a son is awesome! I'll admit it, I was hoping for a boy when we got pregnant. I would have loved my daughter just as much, but it totally rocks having a little boy around. I'm a big time rough houser with him and can't wait for the days of playing catch, going fishing, and doing all the cool things that dads and sons get to do. I enjoyed those things with my dad and I'm looking forward to sharing the same things with Owen.
• Being a parent is tiring. Now let me first give major props to my wife. She is an amazing woman and I can't imagine doing what she does day in and down out. I spend most of Friday with Owen on my day off and by the time Melissa comes home from cleaning houses, I'm pretty well shot. It's hard work!
• I am a selfish human being. I never realized how much I valued my time and being able to do what I wanted when I wanted. A dad truly has to put his wife and child(ren) first. There's just no way around it. I do miss the days that I could take a nap when I wanted and do home improvement projects on Fridays. Gone are those days...for now.
• As much as I love Owen, Melissa comes before him. I'm saying this because I have to continually remind myself about the priority of my marital relationship. Owen takes a lot of time and energy and if Melissa and I don't intentionally take time to work on our relationship, something's going to eventually hit the fan. (I'm not just saying this because Valentine's Day is Saturday and the wifey's birthday is next Sunday)
• God's provision is sufficient. I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into when we got pregnant. I had no idea how to be a dad. I didn't know how to change a diaper. I didn't have a clue. God gives us the ability to adjust to many different situations in life and He will never give us something we can't handle, although I think He pushes us to the limit so we have to depend on Him. That's ok with me.
  

Pics and Videos

I thought it would be good to post a few pics and videos.






















Owen's first words?


See what happens when you listen to Dad?

Down With the Sickness

The Just household has been a breeding ground for bacteria over the past month. Multiple ear infections, a cold, and a sinus infection have each pitched in to make the start to 2009 a not so pleasant one. With sickness comes medicine and numerous visits to the doctor. We've done antibiotics, benedryl, tylenol, claritin, and ibuprofren. A significant amount of time and money has been spent trying to get the Just's back to health.

Our physical health has a great deal of influence on how our days play out and we are very cognizant of when our bodies just aren't right. We spend a lot of time, money, and energy keeping ourselves healthy and getting our bodies back to health when we're sick or hurt.

My friend Tyler made a good point the other day as we were discussing our past lives as athletes. We used to spend at least 2 hours a day practicing during season to become the best basketball, football, or baseball players we could be. Nobody blinked an eye at such an idea and practice. Yet, when it comes to training our bodies on a spiritual level, we fail to take the time to get ourselves into the best shape possible.

I guess we can come to a few conclusions using these observations.

1. We believe that our physical bodies have a greater effect on our everyday lives than our spiritual lives do. Were this not true of us, we would spend more time training our spiritual bodies
2. We find greater value in our physical bodies than in our spirit. We see very tangible results when we feed our physique. We can look in the mirror and know that our work has paid off. Our spiritual results are not as tangible although they are recognizable.
   
3. We have separated the spiritual from the physical. This Greek approach has infiltrated our Western society causing us to no longer see how the two are one. In Hebrew culture, the physical and spiritual didn't exist. They were one and the same. We've managed to divide them and place greater emphasis on the physical.
   

So what? I don't know. Just thought it was interesting. ;-)

Randomness

Just wanted to post a few random thoughts and experiences I've had lately. Enjoy!

• Thanksgiving is great, but makes me tired. We did four Thanksgiving meals this year. One with the high school small groups, one with Melissa's mom's side, one with my dad's side, and one with my mom's side. I love seeing everyone, but it sure does make for a long couple of days, plus our son was a bit of a booger on Friday. I guess we'll have days like that.
• There are a lot of kids out there who need adopted. Now that I have a child of my own I finally realize how fortunate we all are to have a family who loves and cares for us. Maybe none of us need to have any of our own kids....wierd...I just saw a commercial on TV advertising about adopting kids. It said there are over 700 kids who need a home in Kansas. That was a little crazy!
• Black Friday is RIDICULOUS!!! In case you missed it, a woman was killed when she was trampled after opening up the doors at a walmart in New York. See article HERE. Others were seriously injured in other parts of the country. Our greed and need to buy has taken us to places we should never be. Makes me want to vomit!
• Melissa loves to sleep on the couch. I would say that on an average she falls asleep on the couch about 2-3 times per week. Then she wants me to carry her to bed, but I usually don't because in the past when I did she would get to the bed then just get right back up and go to the restroom. Silly girl.
• I found a new gadget to use on my computer to help me stay on top of tasks. It's called Jott. Andrew pointed it out in one of his blog posts so I thought I'd give it a try. I'll have to let you know what I think.
• Christmas decorating, I loathe those two words together in the same sentence. I guess I don't hate the entire idea, just the thought of putting up our fake tree. It's a real pain in my backside. Lights outside don't kill me and I guess I can handle the little knick-knack exchange that takes place. But seriously, it's all going to go back to the way it was in a little over a month. I will say this much, and I realize that I may be contradicting myself here, I enjoy going to my parents when Mom has the house decorated. Something about it just makes me feel good. So what it comes down to is that I don't mind the decor, but I could do without the work that goes into it.
  

That's all for now. I hope you all have a great Advent season and please, please, please remember the reason we celebrate. God became man that we might have life abundantly and I'm pretty sure that didn't mean so we could get more stuff.

Fireproof

Melissa and I got a chance to view the new movie created by Sherwood Pictures, the same company who put out Facing the Giants. I did see Facing the Giants when it came out and I thought it was good, but the acting was a little rough and the story just worked out too perfect for the team and the family involved. I didn't feel the same way about Fireproof. Fireproof is a story about a young man who finds himself in the midst of a bad divorce when his dad mails him a book that challenges him to do something different for forty days to save his marriage. Kirk Cameron plays Caleb, the main character of the story. Here's my critique...

• Good story for married men to see. It reminds us that marriage takes work and if we don't make the effort to love our wife, somebody else might just come along and do it for us.
  
• Great for couples to see who are going through rough times. Many of the comments made by Caleb's wife as well as some other instances in the story ring so true for me when I went through my divorce. This can be an eye opener for both husband and wife.
• Christian movies often make Christians out to be somewhat radical and very corny. This movie did not do that. I was pleased with the acting, although there were a couple characters that could use some acting lessons. Caleb's dad was the main Christian character who didn't push God on his son, rather he was there to share Jesus with his son in a time when he needed a Savior the most. I thought it was well done.
• I cried. Yep, I'm man enough to admit this. It was one of those films that really tugged at my heart strings, mostly because I could identify so much with Cameron's character. God was the only reason I made it through my tough time just as was shown in the film.

Overall I would recommend this to any couple of any age. They have a study curriculum that is on the internet that you can purchase to lead a small group based on clips from the film. We've ordered it and are looking to lead a group at our church in the near future. If you get a chance, go to this movie. Go with your family. Go with your small groups. Talk about it and consider how God might be speaking to you through this film.

Loss of a Loved One

On September 20, 2008 I lost my first grandparent. Grandpa (David) Bowers passed away this past weekend due largely in part to a failing physical body that had been attacked by dementia over the past 7-8 years. When I saw him there in the casket during the viewing this morning, I turned to my younger brother and told him that I preferred Grandpa this way rather than in the weak and confused state he had been in over the past few years.
The grandpa that I knew had been gone for many years. The grandpa I knew had a deep, attention demanding voice that could sing bass like very few in Central Kansas. The grandpa I knew was quiet and strong and had your respect when he spoke. The grandpa I knew was a godly man who led by example in the way he loved his family, his country, and his God. Rest in peace, Grandpa. We know you're dancing with Jesus and rejoicing in your resurrected body.

New Blog for the Justs

A new blog has been created for the Just family. We'll post updates and pictures of what is going on with the whole family. I'll continue to post on Got No Plans, but it will be focused more on my life and what God is laying on my heart specifically. Sometimes that may include pictures of the family ;-)

Here's the new blog - www.familyjust.blogspot.com

Last Month of Life With the Just's

Roll Over, Boy

Owen's big roll over in Colorado. Must be the thin air.